Help!!! I'm feeling so down today!!!

Dear me,

Why am I feeling so terrible today?? I felt that I'm not like myself lately. I wish I could spend most of my time sleeping. I don't have much of an appetite - and nothing seems to taste as good as it used to. I feel like crying (I did cry a lot today) but doesn't know why. I just feel sad all the time and can't shake it. I don't feel much like talking or can't find the words to describe what's wrong. It's not that easy as I thought I can handle this kinda feeling. I am normally a person who cheer up others whenever they're feeling blue, but I just can't do that to my ownself!! What's happening to me??

This depression caused me so much pain in my heart but as usual, I manage to hide my depression.... but I feel like bursting and explode now. Why?? Why?? Why?? Is it because of the environment, medical conditions, life events, or certain thinking patterns that affect a person's reaction to events as what's written in the book. Is it because of LOVE? I'm speechless...

For me, this depression is more than feeling blue, sad, or down in the dumps once in a while, though. This depression too is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair, or hopelessness that I know will last for weeks, months, or even longer, still I hope it won't interfere with a my ability to participate in my normal activities. I need to run and train for my upcoming events especially marathon. I need to laugh my heart out. I need to shower my love to my darlings. I need to breathe. I need to be happy!!!

Still, the world looks bleak, and my thoughts reflect the hopelessness and helplessness that I'm feeling. I tend to have negative and self-critical thoughts. And I feel worthless and unlovable!!! Whatever it is, I'm blaming myself...

I can't see a bright future ahead and I feel powerless to change things for the better. I feel like giving up everything... I just wanna CRY!!!

"I've been feeling really down lately and I think I'm depressed,"